Blue Meets Blue

Blue meets blue
Under the sad night sky
Strangers
Trying to hide

Blue meets blue
on the ocean front
Swept away
By the tumultous tide

It came sailing in
The familiar
Hoping for auspicious gifts
To be delivered

Left with pieces
Drenched in questions
Actions become
Lifelong hurts

Breaking hearts
And souls and spirits
All whilst
Attempting to avert



This is where blue meets blue

Invisible

When you're invisible It's easy for no one to care Gliding in and out of people's lives None of them truly aware When you're invisible The world is seen through hollow eyes No beauty, no love Rather an abundance of lies When you're invisible There really is no reason to try They can't see you, feel you, hear you And you're only left with "why"'s When you're invisible You just keep on disappearing.

Help

Pieces crumbling down

The world I knew is gone

The world I created was fragile

I just didn’t belong

So I built a new place

Crafted an imaginary home

Molded a life to be proud of

Shouldn’t have tried to build Rome

Harshness, darkness

Hatred, dread

Hissing, dropping

Bombs on my head

Cracking, ripping

Clawing, retreating

Covering, restraining

Calling, repeating

Pieces everywhere

Pieces here, Pieces there

They keep falling, falling, falling

And no one seems to care

Screaming

Crying

Recognizing

Emptiness

Asking

Masking

Increasing

Numbness

Gathering

Finding

Observing

Ruthlessness

Hoping

Expressing

Longing for

Peacefulness

Broken Dreams

The storm has been raging for quite some time now
Comfort in the rain
Comfort in the pain
Reality askwed by the blurred vision

The shadows fall
Engulfing
Controlling
Suffocating

When the shadows clear
And daytime is near
What will you say

A job well done
In who's eyes?
A job well done
Created nothing but lies

In the darkness
Things are not seen

Flowers sprinkled with happiness
Are but a dreamland away
A glimsp of what could be
A glimsp of how it should be

Dreams broken
Shattered
Torn

Ripped apart
From my beating heart

Left in the blood of reality
Lying in a pool of misery
Surrounded by the eyes judging me

Grasping and Reaching
Pleading and Hoping
Begging and Longing

Please mend my dreams
Please mend my dreams

Isolation

Any little attempt to be happy is squelched by the reality that is my darkness.

It follows me, it latches on, and it never truly lets go.

It hurts. This constant pain that is weighing me down.

This constant rejection.

Isolation is my only comfort. Isolation is my only friend.

It's familiar and safer.

The darkness looms.

The emptiness grows.

Peace comes in solitude. Peace comes facing the reality of my darkness.

They don't know. They can't know. They will never understand.

They will never be good enough.
I will never be good enough.

Airing my lonely heart out on the sleeves of vulnerability

Crushed by the nonexistence

Torn by the absence

Accepting the detriment

Isolation is my only friend.

Feeling Lost

Thoughts are spinning out of control
And I don’t care where I’m at right now
All I see is the way I use to be…
Or the way things are going to be – and I don’t like it.

The days darken and the days lighten
Always brighter when people are around
When I’m alone I wonder…
Is this how it will always be?

When does the sanity set in?
Where does the inner strength begin?
Will I ever finish the race?
Will I ever know my place?

I strive for a little while
And then become weary
Too tired to try
Too tired to cry

I strive a little while more
And wonder what the point is
What’s the missing link
I need to know before I sink

Why am I hurting
Why do I care
What happened to the spontaneity?
And the girl who would always take a dare

What am I doing
Where am I going
Why do I always feel so lost

Dancing in the Rain

Four corners
More corners
Boxed in
Caged

Locked up
Suffocating
Closed in
Ashamed

Looking out
watching reality pass by
The beauty out there
The misery in here
Longing to die

The rain begins to fall
Cool and serene
Look! She's dancing, she's dancing
It's washing her clean

She's living, she's healing
It's so captivating
She's moving, she's thriving
It's so motivating

She stomps
She pounds
She jumps
She spins round and round

How did she get there
Why am I still in here
I want to be

Breaking free
Carelessly
Dancing in the rain

There are always doors
That you may never have seen
Because you were busy looking out the window
Longing for things that could have been

You too can dance in the rain
Dance despite the shame or the pain
Now is your chance to break the chain
Open your door and watch what you'll gain

Your life, your happiness
Your sanity
Your smile, your joy
At last you are free

Dream and Swim - Swim and Dream

A poem I wrote back in Novemeber 2010. I was just writing to see what would come out and this is what came out.


What about the thoughts of the one truly that lies within?
I do not know the thoughts that lie within.
It is only imagined. It is not known. It cannot be known; but dream.

Dream and soar; to new heights of flight. Flight that takes you to new heights.
Where can that be seen? Where can that be known?
In the starry fields of the desert. In the wakes of the flowery cavern. In the operatic lands of December.

Oh, wait not and see not what you can dream.
Dream and let it be known. Dream and let it be seen.

Do a jiggity jig. Dance the rumbles of the thunder.
Run your hands through the tall green grassy hills of what you know it is.
You know.
You’ve been there.
You’ve been where I have never been.
You’ve seen what I have never seen.
Fear not and take the plunge; into the sea of the unknown. Let it consume you, let it fulfill you, let it speak to you.
It knows you like no other. It will not lie to you, it cannot lie to you – only you deny what its truths tell.
So dream and swim; swim and dream

Learning to Walk

Lying and waiting
Anticipating
Finally realizing
The strength that lies within

To move
To search
To feel the earth
Realness under my skin

Slowly, but surely
Steadily and securely
Finding the balance
to lift my eyes up

To reach up
To pull up
To stand up

Scared and nervous
But remembering the purpose
Putting one foot in front of the other
Time and time again

Baby steps
Steady, now
Baby steps
I'm learning how
To walk in victory

"Therefore, put on every piece of God's armor so you will be able to resist the enemy in time of evil. Then after the battle, you will still be standing firm." ~ Ephesians 6:13

Longing for Yesteryear

Too soon you were taken from me
Too soon I was left to wander free
Among a world I didn’t know
Among a place that wasn’t home

I’m longing for yesteryear
A time and place where you are near
To my heart, to my hand
Wanting to embrace your love again

To feel and play in the ocean spray
Wishing for rain by night and rainbows by day
Basking in the sun’s brilliant rays
Knowing only cobblestone roads show the way

I’m longing for yesteryear
A time and place where it is near
A place where all my memories will be
The only place where I can be me

La Princessa de Las Ranas

I CANNOT believe I haven't shared my famous poem/song I wrote from my 11th grade Spanish class! For those of you who don't know me that well, I am an avid frog lover and picked up the nickname, Frog Princess. So, as I'm falling asleep one night in high school I was thinking up something cutsie (and Spanish-y) and this is what I came up with. No worries...there is a translation below. Enjoy!!

Cuando yo era

Una nina pequena

Queria ser una princessa

No me importe

Como lo consigue

Queria ser una princessa

Una dia estaba caminando

Encontre una rana que me dijo

"Chica bonita, ven aqui"

"Chica bonita, ven a mi"

No sabia que hacer

Pues, yo fue con el

Conjuntos nos brincamos

Nos bailamos

Entonces....

Nos besamos :)

Translation ----

When I was a young girl

I wanted to be a princess

I didn't care how I got it

I wanted to be a princess

One day while I was walking

I encountered a frog who said

"Pretty girl, come here"

"Pretty girl, come with me"

I didn't know what do to

So, I went with him

Together we hopped

We danced

And then....

We kissed :)

Angry Rant

I give and give and give some more
I just cannot give anymore
There is nothing left to me
I am an empty shell

They take and take prodding and peeling
Poking and scraping, clawing and stealing
Until there is nothing left
I'm tired of this hell

It hurts so much and I just don't know
How I can continue to grow
When I am being stifled and drowned
And completely suffocated

So I cling to my only hope
The only way I know how to cope
Jesus, my God
In you I know I will be vindicated

PMDD

You piss me off
You make me mad
Then you turn around
and make me sad

I'm up, I'm down
I'm in, I'm out
I scream and cry
And stomp and shout

I want to yell
and throw things at the wall
And then I want to sleep
until I can't sleep at all

I look in the mirror
And what do I see
This wretched monster
Staring back at me

This Jekyll and Hyde thing
Is for the birds
I wish they would hurry up
And find a cure

I freaking hate you PMDD

Hope

I just hope the good out weighs the bad and that the happy outweighs the sad.
I hope today is better than yesterday and when I'm done crying I can go out and play.
I hope I can still be a good friend even when my moods cut in.
I hope the sunshine will wash the pain away even if its only for one day.
I hope when it looks bleak.
I hope when I am weak.
I hope when I can't stand.
I hope when I need a hand.
I hope when there's nothing left to do and believe this hope will get me through.

Ode to the Typewriter

An ode to the typewriter
You ancient machine
Pulled you out from the dusty corner
And wiped you clean

Heavy and bulky
Obnoxious and a pain
But something endearing
About you all the same



You "eep" and "bloop"
And make noise galore
You have gadgets and gizmos
But not sure what they're for

Clickety clack
Away you go
Tappety-tap
I'm on a roll


Ziiiiip! I pulled and
Out comes the paper
Slide in another
With the ease of a lever

Ah, so sad
I must put you away
But no worries I'll pull you out
And use you again someday

Bloom

Bloom the way you were created to do so
Bloom the way you know you can grow so
Bloom, burst and beautify

Shadow Princess

I am the Shadow Princess
I am here but never in sight
I only appear when there is light
But just as quickly disappear

I am the Shadow Princess
Playing silly tricks on you
Always somewhat a part of you
Never far, but very near

Can you see me?
Do you hear me?
Do you feel me?
Could you be me?

I am the Shadow Princess

To Live and Not Just Try

Here I am all alone again
Here I am on my own again
With nothing but my thoughts to accompany me


Here I am all alone again
Feel like I'm drowning in
All this pain that surrounds me


I want to live not just try
I want to laugh not just cry
I want to walk not just crawl
I want to stand not just fall


Spiraling down into this black hole
Spiraling further out of control
Into a dark place that I don't want to be

Reaching for help and fighting the fear
Crying out but noone hears
The desperation of my plea

I want to live not just try
I want to give not just die
I want to believe not fret
That He has paid all of my debts

I want to live - not just try...

I Love You Daddy

I'm sad today.
Mainly because you're so far away.
I don't know what to do and I don't know what to say.
I'm just very sad today.

I wish I could be with you
By your side to see you through
To be strong and to know what to do
Oh, how I wish I could be with you.

You're always the strong one.
The brave one, the sound one.

Everyone says it will be okay
But how can it when you're so far away?

I wish I could hug you
And tell you that I love you

But since I can't be with you
I wait and I pray
And say
I love you
I love you
I love you
A million times I love you.